Tests involving children (13)

Allah   created us with a natural desire to have children and although He may bestow them upon us, we often take them for granted. Allah   provides children as a blessing and a test. He entrusts them into our care so that we may love them and guide them in the correct manner according to Islam. Unfortunately, many people assume that children are merely a matter of course in life, or things to play with in this material world. They seem to be totally unaware of the more serious obligation they should have towards Allah.
'Wealth and children are the adornments of the life of this world. ' [136. Surah Al-Kahf 18:46]
(O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that, and then they are the losers.' [137. Surah al-Munafiqun 63:9]
Although children are a test, they should never be perceived as a burden or a hindrance. Allah   provides us with children for many reasons, but they are never meant to inconvenience or cause difficulty, as clarified in the following verses:
(Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His Favor on you that you may be thankful. ' [138. Surah AI-Maidah 5:6]
(Allah intends ease for you, and he does not want to make things difficult for you.' [139. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:185]
Children should never be resented or abused. Instead, they should be treated with justice and kindness and given the rights that they are entitled to. These rights extend to unborn children as well. One of the rights of children is the right to life itself. Couples should bear this in mind when contemplating the abortion of an unwanted baby. In Islam, all babies are 'wanted', in the sense that Allah   destines all pregnancies (souls), and only He has the authority to terminate life. As mentioned before, abortion procedures are only permissible if pregnancy or childbirth causes danger to the life of the mother. [140. Al-Fatawa by Sheikh Shaltut, Pg. 164] Abortion is not permitted for reasons of economical burden or shame for being the 'wrong sex'. Allah makes this quite clear in the Qur'an in many verses.
'Indeed lost are they who have killed their children, from folly, without knowledge, and have forbidden that which Allah has provided them...' [141. Surah AI-An'am 6:140]
'And kill not your children for fear of poverty; We provide for them and for you. Surely the killing of them is a great sin.' [142. Surah Bani Isra'il 17:31]
It cannot be denied that children are an additional expense, as they require food, clothing, schooling and so on. However, as parents, we should always provide for them according to our means, and not according to their wants and desires. These days, many children demand expensive clothes, trainers, entertainment and so on. If these demands are beyond our price range, children should be made aware of this and taught to appreciate whatever they are given, regardless of cost. When times are hard, it is often difficult to imagine how we will ever find the means to satisfy demand. However, Allah   is the Best Provider, so we should continue in our efforts and endeavors and place our full trust in Allah   to help provide. The following hadith emphasizes this point:
The Prophet   said: "If you all had trusted in Allah with due reliance, He would have certainly given you provision as He supplies provisions to birds who get up hungry in the morning and return with full belly at dusk." [143. Narrated by Umar bin AI-Khattab   (At-Tirmidhi)]
Children can be a trial in many different ways. The relationship we have with our child (ren) may test our strength of faith and character or our sense of responsibility. The love we have for our children may also be in direct competition with our love towards Allah. If more love is directed towards the child than to Allah, there is the risk of committing shirk. Children may also distract us in our Islamic duties and responsibilities by causing us to delay our prayers; persuading us to protect them by lying; or encouraging us to squander money on unnecessary pleasures. Our child (ren)'s ideals or beliefs may also conflict with our own. They may either cause us to become stronger in faith or contemplate life from a completely non-Islamic viewpoint. Our attitude towards our children and towards our role as parents should always remain Islamic if we are to gain the Pleasure and Reward of Allah.
Children may test our patience. They may restrict our freedom; test our levels of tolerance or reduce our level of disposable income. However, they can also enrich our lives, bringing with them much love, happiness and joy. We should not view children negatively as we can earn many rewards by them, especially if we love and care for them and raise them with sound Islamic morals and manners. These responsibilities also apply to children that may not be our own genetically, such as orphans or children from a spouse's previous marriage. Children can also help to earn more rewards for us after our death, if they supplicate to Allah   on our behalf. [144. Narrated by Abu Huraira., (Muslim)]
We will be accountable for the welfare and wellbeing of our children, at least until they reach the age of puberty. It is also our responsibility, as parents, to safeguard our family members from the Hellfire. All children are born in the natural state of Islam (fitra). However the upbringing and development of the child is greatly influenced by the parents.
When children love their parents, they often imitate them blindly in their traditions, politics, attitudes and behavior and particularly their religion. It is therefore important to ensure our children learn the correct ways and teachings of Islam and provide them with good role models.
There is no child who is not born in the natural state (i.e. Islam). After that his (non-Muslim) parents make him a Jew or a Christian or a Magian. [145. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Bukhari and Muslim)]
'O you who believe, ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are appointed angels, stern and severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He orders them and do precisely what they are commanded.' [146. Surah At-Tahreem 66:6]
Islam is a complete way of life, encompassing vast fields of knowledge and endeavor, so it is essential for children to learn about Islam at an early age, preferably from birth onwards. They should learn how to perform everyday Islamic duties and tasks. These range from personal hygiene (such as cleaning teeth and personal grooming, bathroom etiquette, wudhu) to social norms and behavior; virtues in personal conduct; Islamic character (adab and ikhlaq) to religious rites and duties (salah, zakat, fasting, Hajj etc.)

Children are our future. If we raise them correctly, we will not only gain Allah's Reward and Pleasure, but through them we may preserve and strengthen the teachings and identity of the Islamic faith.

Overcoming Trials and Tribulations
By:   Ruqaiyah Abdullah

Poverty (12)

The other end of the economic spectrum is poverty. No matter how financially secure we think we are, if we are destined for poverty, then we cannot escape it. A slight change in circum­stances could send a once healthy bank balance 'into the red'.
III health, redundancy or dismissal may prevent us from working; demotion, a cut in salary or a change from full-time to part-time employment may also reduce our regular incoming wage. Bankruptcy and receivership; lawsuits and litigation; internal theft, fraud or deception; fire, drought or flood can also mark the end of a once thriving business. We are, therefore, advised to take advantage of our wealth while we still have it but to also prepare for the possibility of poverty.
Take advantage of five things before five others occur: your youth before you' grow old; your health before you become sick; your wealth before you become poor; your leisure before you become busy; and your life before you die. [117. Narrated by 'Amr bin Maymun al-’Awdi (At- Tirmidhi)]
Prepare complete amour for poverty, as it will overtake us quicker than a flood which flows towards its destination. [118. Narrated by Abdullah bin Mughaffal   (At- Tirmidhi)]
Allah   may send poverty as a punishment, a test, or a simple reminder to be more appreciative of His Kind Favors. Poverty may be relatively short lived, intermittent or prolonged throughout life. However, there are huge rewards if we remain patient during straightened economic circumstances.
The poverty trap can be a vicious circle. It restricts social movement, stifles opportunity and limits freedom of choice. It suffocates one with feelings of powerlessness, fear, frustration and stress and may tempt us to acquire money through immoral means or to beg (which is discouraged in Islam). In Islam, we are advised to earn money through halal means from our own manual labor (even if we sell sticks as firewood). [119. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Muwatta Imam Malik)]
Although the income derived from it may be small, our efforts would, at least, be blessed and rewarded by Allah   and the money will have barakah. Although the shaytan will delude us with poverty, Allah   reassures us that He will always provide sufficiently for our needs and often from the most unexpected sources.
'Shaytan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit sins; where as Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself and Bounty, and Allah is All Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All Knower. ' [120. Surah AI-Baqarah 2:268]
'And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him.' [121. Surah At-Talaq 65:3]
The Prophet   said: "If anyone who is afflicted with poverty refers it to me, his poverty will not be brought to an end; but if anyone refers it to Allah, He will soon give him sufficiency, either by a speedy death or by a sufficiency which comes later." [122. Narrated by Ibn Mas'ud   (Abu Dawud)]
In the last hadith, speedy death has been explained as the death of a rich relative. Hence, the person afflicted with poverty may get property through an inheritance.

The Prophet, his wives and children were not unfamiliar with poverty, as they often went to bed without eating for several successive nights. [123. Narrated Ibn Abbas   (At- Tirmidhi)] To curb his hunger, the Prophet would eat nothing but small quantity of cheap dates [124. Narrated by An Nu'man bin Bashir   (Muslim)] or barley bread and when he died, there was nothing to eat in Ai'sha's house except a small quantity of barley in a container. [125. Narrated by Aisha (Agreed Upon)] How many of us can claim to have experienced true poverty and hunger when we live in a society with food in such abundance?
Poverty can be a very degrading and de-humanizing position to be in. It is also one that is frowned upon by those in wealthier positions. However, if we patiently endure poverty for Allah's sake and continue to do good deeds, He will reward us with a more dignified position in Paradise, Insha' Allah. It is stated quite clearly in the Qur'an that the inhabitants of Paradise will be those who endured poverty and material hardship, while the rich will be held back, (unless they are otherwise destined for the Hellfire). This is because a lifetime spent in poverty causes greater pain and distress than a lifetime spent in affluence and shall be rewarded accordingly. It is reassuring to note that the inmates of Paradise shall live in affluent circumstances for eternity. They will have food in abundance. Their clothes will never wear out and they shall never become destitute. [126. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Muslim)]
The Messenger of Allah said: "The poor will enter Paradise 500 years ahead of the rich." [127. Narrated by Abu Huraira (At-Tirmidhi)]
The Messenger of Allah   said; "I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that most of those who passed through it were poor, where as the rich were held back but those who were destined to go to Hell, were ordered to be sent there." [128. Narrated by Usama bin Zaed   (Agreed upon)]
In Islam, a poor, pious Muslim is considered to be superior to all the wealthy men on this earth put together as the following hadith re-iterates:
A man passed by Allah's Messenger, and the Prophet asked a man sitting beside him, "What is your opinion about this of people.”By Allah, if he should ask for a lady's hand in marriage, he ought to be given her in marriage, and if he intercedes for somebody, his intercession will be accepted." Allah's Messenger kept quiet and then another man passed by and Allah's Messenger asked the same man his opinion on the second man. He said: "0 Allah's Messenger! This person is one of the poor Muslims. If he should ask a lady's hand in marriage, no one will accept him, and if he intercedes for somebody, no one will accept his intercession, and if he talks, no one will listen to his talk." Then the Prophet said, "This man is better than such a large number of the first type (i.e. the rich men) as to fill the earth." [129. Narrated by Sahl bin Sa'd As-Sa'idi   (Bukhari)]
If we devote more of our time to spiritual contemplation and prayer, our hearts will become filled with contentment and our poverty will be removed or at least become more tolerable. It will also help us to appreciate Allah's favors and be more grateful for the things we have, rather than resentful for the things we do not and may never have:
'And remember when your Lord proclaimed: "If you give thanks (by accepting Faith and worshipping none but Allah), I will give you more (of My Blessings), but if you are thankless (i.e. disbelievers), verily! My punishment is indeed severe.'" [130. Surah Ibrahim 14:7]
Allah   says: "O son of Adam, if you set aside some time for my service, I will fill your heart with contentment and remove your poverty; and if you spend no time in My service, I will keep your hands busy in work and will not remove your poverty." [131. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Ahmad, fun Majah)]
Material status is not the Islamic criterion for measuring a person's worth. Instead, every individual will be judged according to his level of Iman and good deeds. The Islamic definitions for wealth and prosperity are as follows:
He who enters the fold of Islam and is provided with sustenance which is sufficient for his needs and Allah makes him content with what he has bestowed upon him, has achieved true prosperity. [132. Narrated by Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al'As   (Muslim)]
The Messenger of Allah said: "Riches do not mean having a great amount of property, but riches are self-contentment." [133. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Agreed upon)]
... The rich are in fact, the poor (little rewarded) on the Day of
Judgment except him who gives wealth which he gives (in charity) to his right, left, front and back, and does good deeds with it [134. Narrated by Abu Dhar (Bukhari)]
It is also important to remember the true Islamic definition for a pauper. A real pauper is a man who is bankrupt on the Day of Judgment, when he discovers all his good deeds have been diminished by his bad deeds.
When the Prophet   asked, "Do you know who is a pauper?" The companions answered, "A pauper is one among us who has neither cash (i.e. money) nor property.

Then the Prophet said, "A pauper is one among my people who appears on the Day of Judgment having performed salah, paid zakat, fasted and performed other obligations, but who has also abused someone, slandered someone, misused the money of a third, shed the blood of a fourth and beaten a fifth person. Each of them (i.e. those whom he sinned against) will then be given a portion of his good deeds, then their sins will be transferred to his account, and thus he will be thrown into the fire of hell." [135. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Muslim)]
Overcoming Trials and Tribulations
By:   Ruqaiyah Abdullah