Allah created us with a natural desire to have children and although He may bestow them upon us, we often take them for granted. Allah provides children as a blessing and a test. He entrusts them into our care so that we may love them and guide them in the correct manner according to Islam. Unfortunately, many people assume that children are merely a matter of course in life, or things to play with in this material world. They seem to be totally unaware of the more serious obligation they should have towards Allah.
'Wealth and children are the adornments of the life of this world. '
[136. Surah Al-Kahf 18:46]
(O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that, and then they are the losers.'
[137. Surah al-Munafiqun 63:9]
Although children are a test, they should never be perceived as a burden or a hindrance. Allah provides us with children for many reasons, but they are never meant to inconvenience or cause difficulty, as clarified in the following verses:
(Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you, and to complete His Favor on you that you may be thankful. '
[138. Surah AI-Maidah 5:6]
(Allah intends ease for you, and he does not want to make things difficult for you.'
[139. Surah Al-Baqarah 2:185]
Children should never be resented or abused. Instead, they should be treated with justice and kindness and given the rights that they are entitled to. These rights extend to unborn children as well. One of the rights of children is the right to life itself. Couples should bear this in mind when contemplating the abortion of an unwanted baby.
In Islam, all babies are 'wanted', in the sense that Allah destines all pregnancies (souls), and only He has the authority to terminate life. As mentioned before, abortion procedures are only permissible if pregnancy or childbirth causes danger to the life of the mother. [140. Al-Fatawa by Sheikh Shaltut, Pg. 164] Abortion is not permitted for reasons of economical burden or shame for being the 'wrong sex'. Allah makes this quite clear in the Qur'an in many verses.
'Indeed lost are they who have killed their children, from folly, without knowledge, and have forbidden that which Allah has provided them...'
[141. Surah AI-An'am 6:140]
'And kill not your children for fear of poverty; We provide for them and for you. Surely the killing of them is a great sin.'
[142. Surah Bani Isra'il 17:31]
It cannot be denied that children are an additional expense, as they require food, clothing, schooling and so on. However, as parents, we should always provide for them according to our means, and not according to their wants and desires. These days, many children demand expensive clothes, trainers, entertainment and so on. If these demands are beyond our price range, children should be made aware of this and taught to appreciate whatever they are given, regardless of cost. When times are hard, it is often difficult to imagine how we will ever find the means to satisfy demand. However, Allah is the Best Provider, so we should continue in our efforts and endeavors and place our full trust in Allah to help provide. The following hadith emphasizes this point:
The Prophet said: "If you all had trusted in Allah with due reliance, He would have certainly given you provision as He supplies provisions to birds who get up hungry in the morning and return with full belly at dusk."
[143. Narrated by Umar bin AI-Khattab (At-Tirmidhi)]
Children can be a trial in many different ways. The relationship we have with our child (ren) may test our strength of faith and character or our sense of responsibility. The love we have for our children may also be in direct competition with our love towards Allah. If more love is directed towards the child than to Allah, there is the risk of committing shirk. Children may also distract us in our Islamic duties and responsibilities by causing us to delay our prayers; persuading us to protect them by lying; or encouraging us to squander money on unnecessary pleasures. Our child (ren)'s ideals or beliefs may also conflict with our own. They may either cause us to become stronger in faith or contemplate life from a completely non-Islamic viewpoint. Our attitude towards our children and towards our role as parents should always remain Islamic if we are to gain the Pleasure and Reward of Allah.
Children may test our patience. They may restrict our freedom; test our levels of tolerance or reduce our level of disposable income. However, they can also enrich our lives, bringing with them much love, happiness and joy. We should not view children negatively as we can earn many rewards by them, especially if we love and care for them and raise them with sound Islamic morals and manners. These responsibilities also apply to children that may not be our own genetically, such as orphans or children from a spouse's previous marriage. Children can also help to earn more rewards for us after our death, if they supplicate to Allah on our behalf.
[144. Narrated by Abu Huraira., (Muslim)]
We will be accountable for the welfare and wellbeing of our children, at least until they reach the age of puberty. It is also our responsibility, as parents, to safeguard our family members from the Hellfire. All children are born in the natural state of Islam (fitra). However the upbringing and development of the child is greatly influenced by the parents.
When children love their parents, they often imitate them blindly in their traditions, politics, attitudes and behavior and particularly their religion. It is therefore important to ensure our children learn the correct ways and teachings of Islam and provide them with good role models.
There is no child who is not born in the natural state (i.e. Islam). After that his (non-Muslim) parents make him a Jew or a Christian or a Magian.
[145. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Bukhari and Muslim)]
'O you who believe, ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are appointed angels, stern and severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He orders them and do precisely what they are commanded.'
[146. Surah At-Tahreem 66:6]
Islam is a complete way of life, encompassing vast fields of knowledge and endeavor, so it is essential for children to learn about Islam at an early age, preferably from birth onwards. They should learn how to perform everyday Islamic duties and tasks. These range from personal hygiene (such as cleaning teeth and personal grooming, bathroom etiquette, wudhu) to social norms and behavior; virtues in personal conduct; Islamic character
(adab and
ikhlaq) to religious rites and duties (salah, zakat, fasting, Hajj etc.)
Children are our future. If we raise them correctly, we will not only gain Allah's Reward and Pleasure, but through them we may preserve and strengthen the teachings and identity of the Islamic faith.
Overcoming Trials and Tribulations
By: Ruqaiyah Abdullah
