Tests Involving the death of Loved Ones (8)

Allah   may test our faith by taking the lives of close loved ones. The emotional pain and suffering during bereavement may be so intense that it can either strengthen our faith or cause us to abandon it altogether. Allah   tests us to see if we can conquer overwhelming feelings of shock, anger, denial or depression, by turning to Him for comfort and support during these difficult times of despair. Those who prefer to outwardly express these emotions, rather than suppress them, deny the Qadr of Allah   and show disrespect to His Divine Decree. In Islam, we are permitted to weep and express our loss, but such excesses as wailing aloud, tearing our clothes, beating our bodies, questioning 'why' etc. are strictly forbidden. Instead, we should try to remain calm and patient throughout personal adversity:
[60. Surah Al-Baqarah Z: 155-156]Allah   said: "I have no reward other than Paradise for my believing servant who is patient when I take away one of his beloved from among his companions of the world." [61. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Bukhari)]
When a loved one dies, it is very tempting to question or complain about the timing of their death. This shows blatant disrespect to Allah, because He is the Controller of Time and the Creator and Disposer of Life. He manages all of our affairs, causing everything to happen at the right time for the right reasons. No matter how difficult bereavement may be, we should never criticize its timing, as life is ultimately in His Hands. In Islam, mourning the death of a close loved one should last no more than three days. The only exception is in the case of a woman upon the death of her husband when her iddat (waiting period) lasts for a period of four months and ten days. [62. Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama   (Bukhari)]
The death of a child is an extremely difficult test to endure. This can happen during pregnancy, labor, or several weeks, months or years following birth. When parents experience the death of a child, it is important for fellow Muslims to offer help, comfort and support during this grief-stricken time and advice them in the best Islamic manner. The following hadith should provide some comfort to grieving parents:
I said to Abu Huraira that my two children had died. Would you narrate to me anything from Allah's Messenger, a hadith, which would soothe our hearts in our bereavements? He said: "Yes. Small children are the fowls of Paradise. [63. The word used in the text is Da'amis, the plural of Da'amus which means 'a fowl of the sea.' Just as fowls of the sea do not separate from water, in the same way these small children constantly remain in Paradise.]  If one of them meets his father (or he said his parents) he would take hold of his cloth, or he said with his hand as I take hold of them of your cloth (with my hand). And he (the child) would not take off (his hand) from it until Allah causes his father (parents) to enter Paradise." [64. Narrated by Abu Hassan   (Muslim). This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Tamim with the same chain of transmitters. And he is reported to have said: "Did you hear from Allah's Messenger: I anything, which may soothe our heart in our bereavements?" He said: "Yes."]
A woman came to the Messenger of Allah   with her child and said, "Allah's Apostle, invoke Allah's blessing upon him for I have already buried three." He said: "You have buried three!" She said: "Yes." There upon he (the Holy Prophet) said: "You have indeed, safeguarded yourself against the torment of hell with a strong safeguard." [65. Narrated by Abu Huraira   (Muslim)]
When a child of a believing servant of Allah dies, Allah asks His angels, "Have you taken into custody the soul of My servant's child?" and they answer, "Yes." Then he inquires, "Have you taken into custody the soul of the flower of his heart?" and they reply, "Yes." Then He questions, "What did My servant say?" and the angels answer, "He praised You and affirmed: "To Allah do we belong and to Him will we return." Upon hearing this, Allah commands: "Build for My servant a mansion in Paradise and name it 'The House of Praise. ", [66. Narrated by Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri   (At-Tirmidhi)]
The concept of death can evoke a wide range of emotions, but on a more personal level it should remind us of our own mortality. Bereavement is a time for self-reflection and evaluation. It gives us the opportunity to question or re-affirm the reason and purpose for our existence and to prepare for our own life after death. Unfortunately, many people soul search in the wrong direction, without realizing that Islam is the truth and has answers for all life's questions. Allah   will cleanse the hearts of sincere believers and fill them with faith and understanding and guide them towards success.
'..Allah misleads whom He wills and guides whom He wills.' [67. Surah Ibrahim 14:4]
'We have indeed sent down in this Qur'an manifest ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, lawful and unlawful things, and the set boundaries of Islamic religion that make things clear showing the Right Path of Allah). And Allah guides whom He wills to a Straight Path (i.e. to Allah's Religion of Islamic Monotheism).' [68. Surah An-Nur 24:46]
'Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his god, and Allah knowing him as such, left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allah? Will you not then remember?' [69. Surah al-Jathiyah 45:23].
Although death is perceived as a loss, it should also be perceived as a gain, as it is an opportunity for us to reflect upon our own lives and correct ourselves before death finally comes to us too.