Allah created mankind with many basic instincts, but none so powerful or potentially dangerous as the sexual urge. The faith of every Muslim is tested by this urge, particularly in the ability to control or subdue it. In Islam, we are prohibited from gazing with desire at those whom we are not married to and from having sexual relations with them. We are also expected to refrain from sexual relations with marriage partners from dawn until dusk during the sacred month of Ramadan. If we break this ruling, we will lose our fast and the rewards that would have accompanied it. We will also be expected to make atonement for our disobedience to Allah. Sexual relations are also prohibited during the time of menstruation (hayd) and post-natal bleeding (nifas) for women. [74. Surah AI-Baqarah 2:222]
'Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them... And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (ordinarily) appear thereof...' [75. Surah An-Nur 24:30-31]
'Allah wishes to lighten the burden for you; and man was created weak (cannot be patient to leave sexual intercourse with women).' [76. Surah An-Nisa 4:28]
Man is created weak and often finds it difficult to refrain from sexual intercourse. Although Allah uses this weakness to test our faith, He also provides strict guidance for social interaction between the sexes, to help reduce illicit sexual desire and temptation outside marriage. Men and women are required to lower their gaze and guard their modesty and adhere to certain dress codes and conduct. If Muslims find it difficult to control sexual arousal, they are advised to marry. If they do not have the financial means to marry, they should fast, as this will help to subdue sexual passion. [77. Narrated by Alqama (Bukhari)] One of the greatest temptations for men is women (and vice versa). In fact, the first trial sent to the people of Israel was caused by women to see how they would behave.[ 78. Narrated by Abu Sa'eed Khadri (Muslim) ] The Prophet also warned men of the dangers caused by women, as they have the potential to lure them away from their spiritual and worldly obligations.
Allah's Messenger said: "1 have not left after me any turmoil more injurious to men than the harm done to men because of women." [79. Narrated by Usama b. Zaid (Muslim)]
Allah revealed the types of women that are lawful and unlawful to men. Those who are unlawful include those to whom one is not married, mothers, daughters, sisters etc. [80. Surah An-Nisa 4:23] There are also hadith highlighting the importance of segregation between men and women. Segregation helps to reduce sexual temptation and prevent unnecessary jealousy. It can also prevent unnecessary suspicion within the community, which can lead to gossip, accusation, and tarnishing of one's honor and reputation. Although suspicion and slander are haram in Islam, free mixing can easily provoke this kind of gossip and rumor.
It is therefore important to observe this etiquette to safeguard one's reputation and avoid unnecessary fitna in the community. When a man and a woman meet in seclusion without a mahram (guardian/protector/chaperone), the third person in their company is the shaytan, who may whisper and lead them astray. [81. See hadith narrated by Amir ibn Rabi'ah (Ahmad) which refers to shaytan being the third person tempting a man and woman without a mahram] Once this happens, the social implications are vast, as we will shortly discuss.
'When you ask women for something, ask from behind a curtain that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' [82. Surah AI-Ahzab 33:53]
No one of you should meet a woman apart unless she is accompanied by a relative within prohibited degrees (a mahram}. [83. Narrated by Ibn Abbas (Agreed Upon)]
Although the first ayah instructs men on how to behave towards the wives of the Prophet, it is nevertheless a practice we should also strive to adopt wherever possible, as it will avoid unnecessary annoyance to the woman and prevent the jealousy of her husband. It will also help to reduce suspicion and gossip from onlookers.
In Islam, not only is it haram to commit adultery, but it is one of the major sins in Islam. The person who commits this abhorrent act is the most contemptible in Allah's Eyes. Adultery does not solely refer to the sexual act performed by the loins; it refers to the entire human body, as every body part has the potential to stray:
Allah has fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There will be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the look, and the adultery of the ears is the listening to voluptuous (song or talk), and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech, and the adultery of the hand is the embrace, and the adultery of the feet is to walk to the place where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he mayor may not put into effect. [84. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Muslim)]
- Muslims who obey Allah and refrain from illegal sexual intercourse will receive the following reward on the Day of Resurrection:
One of the seven categories of people shaded under Allah's Shade on the Day of Resurrection, when there will be no shade but His, is a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illegal sexual intercourse and says: I am afraid of Allah." [85. Narrated by Abu Huraira. (Bukhari)]
Allah also tests our obedience through other sexual prohibitions, like intercourse between members of the same sex, with animals or with those ignorant/innocent of sexual matters, such as children or the mentally retarded.
Allah sends His Laws and Guidance for the good of mankind and to benefit society as a whole. In spite of this, many people still ignore or reject these laws in favor of following their own lusts and desires. Marriage provides emotional security and financial stability as well as structure, order and discipline to society. It is the foundation of a healthy society and a sign of commitment and responsibility. It is important for couples to work through any conflict and resolve their differences rather than take the apparently easier option of divorce. However, divorce has wider repercussions, not only for other family members, but for society as a whole. Divorce not only severs the relationship between husband and wife, but it can also sever or disrupt the relationship between parent and child (ren). As the divorce rate continues to rise, so too does the rate of single parent families. These are just some of the reasons why divorce is most hated by Allah, despite being permitted in Islam. [86. Narrated by Ibn Omar (Abu Dawud)\ Divorce should only be used as a last resort, when every effort to resolve the couple's differences fails and the marriage has irrevocably broken down.]
When other less favorable arrangements become acceptable, such as extra-marital and pre-marital affairs, the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases increases. These diseases may often be a punishment, test or reminder from Allah for failure to adhere to His Divine Laws and Guidance. There has also been an alarming increase in the number of pregnancies out of wedlock and a huge rise in legal and illegal abortions. In Islam, abortion is only permitted if pregnancy or childbirth is detrimental to the life of the mother, but diya (blood money) must be paid. [87. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Muwatta Imam Malik)] Problems arising due to paternity denial or deception, illegitimacy and confused lineage are also detrimental to the natural order, balance and function of society. Brothers and sisters, or even other prohibited relations, may develop relationships later on in life, totally unaware that they are related to one other.
The more dysfunctional and unstable families become; the less opportunity children have for spiritual and moral growth. Unhealthy family environments can also encourage other social ills to breed, such as alcohol and drug abuse, psychological problems, mental, physical and sexual abuse, violent crime and so on. Although such behavior represents the extreme end of the spectrum, it illustrates how easy it is for problems to escalate when mankind lacks God-consciousness (taqwa) and correct moral guidance.
People who lack religious, social and moral awareness will often fail to recognize the dangers of promiscuity, fornication, homosexuality and even the opposite extreme - celibacy (sexual abstinence). The more widespread these practices become, the more 'normal' or acceptable they begin to appear. However, this is not the case in Islam. Allah has provided man with strict rules and guidelines concerning socio-sexual relationships. Those who disobey Allah in favor of following their own lusts and desires will pay heavy penalties in this life and in the Hereafter. The more we adhere to Allah's Laws and Guidance, the more we will benefit, and the fewer problems we will create for ourselves.
Overcoming Trials and Tribulations
By: Ruqaiyah Abdullah
'Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them... And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (ordinarily) appear thereof...' [75. Surah An-Nur 24:30-31]
'Allah wishes to lighten the burden for you; and man was created weak (cannot be patient to leave sexual intercourse with women).' [76. Surah An-Nisa 4:28]
Man is created weak and often finds it difficult to refrain from sexual intercourse. Although Allah uses this weakness to test our faith, He also provides strict guidance for social interaction between the sexes, to help reduce illicit sexual desire and temptation outside marriage. Men and women are required to lower their gaze and guard their modesty and adhere to certain dress codes and conduct. If Muslims find it difficult to control sexual arousal, they are advised to marry. If they do not have the financial means to marry, they should fast, as this will help to subdue sexual passion. [77. Narrated by Alqama (Bukhari)] One of the greatest temptations for men is women (and vice versa). In fact, the first trial sent to the people of Israel was caused by women to see how they would behave.[ 78. Narrated by Abu Sa'eed Khadri (Muslim) ] The Prophet also warned men of the dangers caused by women, as they have the potential to lure them away from their spiritual and worldly obligations.
Allah's Messenger said: "1 have not left after me any turmoil more injurious to men than the harm done to men because of women." [79. Narrated by Usama b. Zaid (Muslim)]
Allah revealed the types of women that are lawful and unlawful to men. Those who are unlawful include those to whom one is not married, mothers, daughters, sisters etc. [80. Surah An-Nisa 4:23] There are also hadith highlighting the importance of segregation between men and women. Segregation helps to reduce sexual temptation and prevent unnecessary jealousy. It can also prevent unnecessary suspicion within the community, which can lead to gossip, accusation, and tarnishing of one's honor and reputation. Although suspicion and slander are haram in Islam, free mixing can easily provoke this kind of gossip and rumor.
It is therefore important to observe this etiquette to safeguard one's reputation and avoid unnecessary fitna in the community. When a man and a woman meet in seclusion without a mahram (guardian/protector/chaperone), the third person in their company is the shaytan, who may whisper and lead them astray. [81. See hadith narrated by Amir ibn Rabi'ah (Ahmad) which refers to shaytan being the third person tempting a man and woman without a mahram] Once this happens, the social implications are vast, as we will shortly discuss.
'When you ask women for something, ask from behind a curtain that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' [82. Surah AI-Ahzab 33:53]
No one of you should meet a woman apart unless she is accompanied by a relative within prohibited degrees (a mahram}. [83. Narrated by Ibn Abbas (Agreed Upon)]
Although the first ayah instructs men on how to behave towards the wives of the Prophet, it is nevertheless a practice we should also strive to adopt wherever possible, as it will avoid unnecessary annoyance to the woman and prevent the jealousy of her husband. It will also help to reduce suspicion and gossip from onlookers.
In Islam, not only is it haram to commit adultery, but it is one of the major sins in Islam. The person who commits this abhorrent act is the most contemptible in Allah's Eyes. Adultery does not solely refer to the sexual act performed by the loins; it refers to the entire human body, as every body part has the potential to stray:
Allah has fixed the very portion of adultery which a man will indulge in. There will be no escape from it. The adultery of the eye is the look, and the adultery of the ears is the listening to voluptuous (song or talk), and the adultery of the tongue is licentious speech, and the adultery of the hand is the embrace, and the adultery of the feet is to walk to the place where he intends to commit adultery and the heart yearns and desires which he mayor may not put into effect. [84. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Muslim)]
- Muslims who obey Allah and refrain from illegal sexual intercourse will receive the following reward on the Day of Resurrection:
One of the seven categories of people shaded under Allah's Shade on the Day of Resurrection, when there will be no shade but His, is a man who refuses the call of a charming woman of noble birth for illegal sexual intercourse and says: I am afraid of Allah." [85. Narrated by Abu Huraira. (Bukhari)]
Allah also tests our obedience through other sexual prohibitions, like intercourse between members of the same sex, with animals or with those ignorant/innocent of sexual matters, such as children or the mentally retarded.
Allah sends His Laws and Guidance for the good of mankind and to benefit society as a whole. In spite of this, many people still ignore or reject these laws in favor of following their own lusts and desires. Marriage provides emotional security and financial stability as well as structure, order and discipline to society. It is the foundation of a healthy society and a sign of commitment and responsibility. It is important for couples to work through any conflict and resolve their differences rather than take the apparently easier option of divorce. However, divorce has wider repercussions, not only for other family members, but for society as a whole. Divorce not only severs the relationship between husband and wife, but it can also sever or disrupt the relationship between parent and child (ren). As the divorce rate continues to rise, so too does the rate of single parent families. These are just some of the reasons why divorce is most hated by Allah, despite being permitted in Islam. [86. Narrated by Ibn Omar (Abu Dawud)\ Divorce should only be used as a last resort, when every effort to resolve the couple's differences fails and the marriage has irrevocably broken down.]
When other less favorable arrangements become acceptable, such as extra-marital and pre-marital affairs, the prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases increases. These diseases may often be a punishment, test or reminder from Allah for failure to adhere to His Divine Laws and Guidance. There has also been an alarming increase in the number of pregnancies out of wedlock and a huge rise in legal and illegal abortions. In Islam, abortion is only permitted if pregnancy or childbirth is detrimental to the life of the mother, but diya (blood money) must be paid. [87. Narrated by Abu Huraira (Muwatta Imam Malik)] Problems arising due to paternity denial or deception, illegitimacy and confused lineage are also detrimental to the natural order, balance and function of society. Brothers and sisters, or even other prohibited relations, may develop relationships later on in life, totally unaware that they are related to one other.
The more dysfunctional and unstable families become; the less opportunity children have for spiritual and moral growth. Unhealthy family environments can also encourage other social ills to breed, such as alcohol and drug abuse, psychological problems, mental, physical and sexual abuse, violent crime and so on. Although such behavior represents the extreme end of the spectrum, it illustrates how easy it is for problems to escalate when mankind lacks God-consciousness (taqwa) and correct moral guidance.
People who lack religious, social and moral awareness will often fail to recognize the dangers of promiscuity, fornication, homosexuality and even the opposite extreme - celibacy (sexual abstinence). The more widespread these practices become, the more 'normal' or acceptable they begin to appear. However, this is not the case in Islam. Allah has provided man with strict rules and guidelines concerning socio-sexual relationships. Those who disobey Allah in favor of following their own lusts and desires will pay heavy penalties in this life and in the Hereafter. The more we adhere to Allah's Laws and Guidance, the more we will benefit, and the fewer problems we will create for ourselves.
Overcoming Trials and Tribulations
By: Ruqaiyah Abdullah
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