The Marriage Season and the Key to a Successful Relationship

June is the most popular month for marriages in America. As June approaches, many who are planning to marry enter the final stages of their preparations. These preparations normally include buying dresses, finalizing banquet hall arrangements, making catering arrangements, and other matters. In light of June's arrival, I want to draw everyone's attention to the most important aspect of marriage, which is learning how the relationship is going to be successful.

In the midst of all the excitement, future couples forget about the next stage of their life and pay very little attention to how they are going to actually live with their spouse and deal with any conflicts that will inevitably arise. It is incredibly important for future couples to learn their responsibilities in marriage. Islam teaches a man how to become a good husband and it teaches a woman how to become a good wife.

It is imperative for future couples to either take some classes on marriage and its duties, or to read some good books on this subject with the intention of practicing upon the knowledge they learn. Often we hear that the divorce rate in America is soaring, but we forget that the divorce rate in Muslim families is also very high. Unfortunately, many Muslim marriages are failing, and the cause in most cases is ignorance.

Ignorance of the beautiful teachings of our beloved Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam) has been detrimental to the marriages of many brothers and sisters. An unpleasant relationship among couples is too common to mention, in direct contrast to the Qur'anic emphasis on passion, love and mercy (Mawaddah) in marriage. The husband refuses to be a better person because of his need to prove his manhood, and the wife refuses to be a better person because she often feels that being nice towards her husband means she is inferior and subjugated.


Islam teaches the husband to be a balanced man and teaches the wife to be a balanced woman. Education is the foundation of a successful marriage, but the goal cannot be reached by merely fulfilling the rights of each other. Rather, it requires both to go the extra mile. We have the best example in the life and Seerah of our beloved Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam). He always treated his wives with more than they deserved as their right, and he said: "The best among you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best to my wives."

Future couples must learn these beautiful teachings before they reach the day of their marriage and they must continue to learn thereafter. In the absence of sound knowledge, we often manifest certain hopes in each other that, if left unfulfilled, can prove disastrous to a marriage. The right knowledge will give us a proper understanding of what to expect, how to build on the positives in each marriage, and will certainly promote love, compassion and tranquility between husband and wife.

Some Masjids and websites offer courses for those wishing to marry. If one can get access to such courses, they will certainly benefit from such an opportunity, Insha'Allah.

May Allah place blessings in our marriages and make them into a source of peace and comfort, Aameen.

Mufti Ikram ul Haq is the president of Fatwa Center of America (www.askamufti.com).